Taking time

Listening to contemporary classical music from various times and styles... Philip Glass, Arvo Part, Kronos Quartet, Erik Satie, John Cage, Brian Eno... I no normally do this, ironic, isn't it? being a musician myself and i do not spend quality time listening to great works of art.... Even though I have been rehearsing some music with bands I have not played before, their style being similar to what I have been doing so far, it is so refreshing listening to completely different music, and having the time and disposition for it. My life has taken various turns that had made me feel very exhausted and not always i know how to cope with it and make the most of it... I guess this could be another way of enjoying those moments when I am alone.

It feels good to be quiet at home, relaxed and listening to these artists...
I also had the time to re-visit a book called 'Fear of Life' by Alexander Lowen. Will quote some of its lines here:

'Neurosis is not usually defined as fear of life, but that is what is it. The neurotic person is afraid to open his heart to love, afraid to reach out or strike out, afraid to be fully himself... there is another aspect to this problem [of being scared of rejection or being hurt]. More life or feeling than one is accustomed to is frightening to the person because it threatens to overwhelm his ego, flood his boundaries and undermine his identity.'

' Our fear of life is seen in the way we keep busy so as not to feel, keep running so as not face ourselves, or get high on liquor or drugs so as not to sense our being. Because we are afraid of life we seek to control and master it. We believe that is bad or dangerous to be carried away by our emotions... The emphasis on our culture is on doing and achieving. The modern individual is committed to being successful, not to being a person.'

'Being a person is not something we can do. It is not a performance. It may require that we stop our frantic business, that we take time out to breathe and to feel. In the process we may feel our pain, but if we have the courage to accept it, we will also have pleasure. If we can face our inner emptiness, we will find fulfillment. If we can go through our despair, we will discover joy. In this therapeutic undertaking, we may need help.'


And now this... I love this piece...