Sunday, 9 October 2011

Performance: how much does practice, emotions and presence shape it?

'Practice makes perfect'... or so many people say... well, I agree to some extent. As a performer I have to know what I am doing, what the repertoire is, how to play my instrument and the music pieces; I have to rehearse with the people involved a lot of times to learn and improve all the dynamics, stops, changing of sections, etc. Repetition is definitely a huge part of learning a piece to 'perfection' or at least to a very good level of quality... However,  on the day of the event, many things can happen that can alter the way one has 'mastered' one's playing and delivery of the performance... The "ingredients" of our psychological "body" can be shaken  by the most simple and "insignificant" detail: a discussion with your colleague backstage, technical problems or sound engineer not listening to suggestions from the musician; weather, fatigue, problems at home, etc. All of these and many more 'nuisances' can change dramatically the way one delivers and experiences performance. Of course, more one plays in public and goes through all these experiences, more one is able, or have the chance, to learn how to cope with these unexpected yet, expected, happenings. One starts building up some attitudes and ways of dealing with this as to 'safeguard' oneself from them and not interrupt the flow and focus one needs for the performance. Having said that, however, I am still shocked by the way it still takes me and other people almost 'by surprise'; it still perturbs us at various moments in our career as performers. It is almost as if we can't have control over it, as much as we see it happening, as much as we try to deal with it the best we can, the best we've learnt... we can still fall, again and again, into the abyss of disconnection from the event and colleagues; into fear and anxiety and total 'coldness'... into 'non-presence'....  The moment is gone, you are no longer there.. something else takes you...


I have used the word 'presence' because it is the one mostly used in performing arts and other disciplines. Also in spiritual teachings. It is often associated with 'awareness' and 'being in the moment'; sometimes also as being focused and in the zone. If one is not present, aware of the moment and focused, one looses touch, connection with what is happening.... One could argue that, even if we are 'present', aware of everything that is happening, doesn't necessarily mean to 'know' how to deal with emotions of fear or anger, or distress... The thing is, most often than not, when I am alert and aware of what is happening inside me, and, what is happening outside, mainly by sensing it all, 'I', or something in me, KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.... which can mean NOT doing at all but EXPERIENCING.... and some how, when your turn comes to perform, you do...you are LISTENING and FEELING your own presence on the stage and it becomes very powerful experience.... it is as if I don't actually have to 'think about it', if I make sense. This, unfortunately, does not happen all the time :(    It is NOT a habit...


Another interesting thing I have just remembered and realised is that, at moments of distress before performances, just for a second or two, if I just breathe in, deeply, feeling all my body, just that experience, makes a lot of difference. It helps me focus big time! Is this 'breathing in', also related to 'presence'? I should think so... I mean, as one breathes in and relaxes and feels the body... one is still aware, mainly of oneself, and somehow it gives a chance to focus again on what one is doing or about to do... I am sure many of you know what I am talking about. I have also heard from many people in various circumstances: 'all you have to do is breathe in' or 'don't forget to breathe' .... I would like now to quote an Alexandre Technique teacher, John Hunter,  on a presentation he gave in Brazil in 1997 about 'presence' and performance and how this technique allows us to be more present and better performers: 


A human being can have choice. In order to choose, we need to make a stop between stimulus and response: this is the only place where real choice is possible - otherwise a chemical process begins and neurons become charged with force. There is a part of the mind, a higher function of the human brain, where decisions are made. To start to become aware of this is a great responsibility. It means that we can no longer blame others or circumstances for our difficulties. A human being can make decisions. The hierarchy of functioning begins to take shape: stimulus - pause - choice - decision To enact a decision, it has to become an intention. Intention is a powerful force; it begins to activate the nervous system and triggers nerve impulses into muscles. This force flows into the body along certain paths and in certain directions. It is possible to learn to channel this animating force consciously. At this stage of awareness, life becomes process - choice, decision, action - from moment to moment. A certain immediacy appears as we experience ourselves as here, now. This quality, quite palpable and recognisable - brings a different quality to one's life. It is also recognisable in others: we call it presence. In performance it brings everything to life. The performer becomes a living bridge between the invisible world of creative intent, the expression of emotion and an audience. Presence calls to presence, and in this way a quite special event can take place during performance. (http://www.the-alexander-technique.eu/Articles/wac204.htm)




If there is anybody reading this right now and connects with it to some degree, I would love that person to say something about all this... I need your feedback!!! Especially if you are a performer! I would  love someone to tell their story about this...:)


As you can see, for me and many other performers, it is not just how much we rehearse and prepare for the show... it is about what happens ON the day of the show, before and during it, and how one deals with it psychologically that makes a good performance. Not always can we remember to 'be present' (which can sound a bit abstract) but may be we can just learn to remember to 'breathe in' and relax before the show begins... Not easy to remember either at times, but it seems to be 'at hand' for us to put it in practice :)