I am sure you have experienced falling on the ground, or missing a train, or breaking up a relationship or friendship, performing terribly in a concert (if you are a musician) or, if you are teacher, having 27 kids behaving terribly...making you believe that that is it, your teaching days have finished...
Well, yes...the thing is, depending on how intense the experience was... it will stay in your DNA for long or not...and it could probably cause some kind of damage... However, i do believe there is a reason for everything and that everything contains a 'teaching' or something you have to look more closely and seriously to as it might be telling you something about yourself and others, or about life.
What I am trying to say really is that after a very horrible experience teaching a Year 3 class last week... I was really down, but things changed dramatically the day after. I had many supportive exchanges with various teachers/musicians who have had similar terrible experiences though... but what kept me going was that I knew this happens to any teacher at some point, and it reminded me of a similar experience I had in 2008, in a school with very difficult children, which it turn out better than I thought at the time. Also, I figured that in other schools I am working at the moment this is not the case; I have not had this experience and I am actually enjoying it very much as well as the kids and teachers.
Interestingly, right after this incident, next day, in another school I teach reception and nursery, I had one of the best teaching experiences ever... and the governor who was there that day observing me teach to a reception class for 45 minutes said that I was very good, not only managing the children and getting their attention every time, but in structuring my lesson with very exciting and interesting activities... Actually, that day was quite unique, and I also felt that I did exceptionally well that day compared to other days.
Was this a consequence of the previous day's horrific experience? Was this the result of wanting to make sure I did not commit the same mistakes as before?... I think so, but also, I have always had a better relationship with younger kids, I trust myself more with reception and nursery kids than older ones...I don't know why. But this can also vary from time to time...
This whole experience makes me compare it with what Brian Cox was saying in a TV program about the mystery of 'chance'...that, even though there are rules in the Unirverse, what had made us humans and other species different, or made the Earth being the only planet in the Solar System to have Life...has been mainly the factor of 'chance'... And yes, I can relate to that...most teaching and performing experiences have felt that way... a mixture between the chance of the moment and all its variables, plus the rule of practice and code of conduct in a performance... But it is mainly the 'chance' factor that makes it unique...nothing is ever the same twice... The Buddhist also say that, that we are in constant change, like nature, and we should not get stuck in one experience or thought.
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